Hey I am not sure if this is going to make sense.

[machikaree]

Hey, I Know that this might be slightly trivial and may not make sence, but I need some unbiased oppinions.
I have been with someone for three years and we have two children together...We love each other but i have a fear that we may no longer be in love with each other. I still love him, but I don't know I think that we might be slipping apart... Like now i feel more like we are friends that live together and share a bed...I don't know what to do, do any of you think that there is a way to re-kindle our love for each other??
I have been racking my brain for possibilities but I am just un-able to figure out what to do, and the worst of it is that i think that I might possibly be falling for someone else...but as i said before we have two children together, and i do love him i am just not sure what to do...Any response will be considered, but please just don't tell me to just leave him, that is not an option right now. We both have too much going on right now for something like that...He works full time at a processing plant and I am in way ober my head at our local college, trying to acquire 37 credits....for my highschool diploma and my cert in HOC and taking some of my auto credits...
Thank you all whom take the time to read my ramblings and thank you even more who go so far as to acctually post a response....Thank you.

[Pixie]

I would talk this over with him and explain to him some of your doubts right now-he may be feeling the same thing as well-although I would leave out the part of you possibly falling for someone else-the two of you may be so focused on the children and your jobs and schools that you have neglected to take time for just the two of you-perhaps if you do that you could rediscover the love you once had

[machiakaree]

Thanks for your input, I appretiate it alot....

[Pixie]

I am usually floating around somewhere if you ever need someone to talk to honey*hugs*

[Danny Boy]

okay... all i can say is, talk to him. tell him how desperate you are. tell him what you're feeling. if he really loves you, he'll realize what he's doing to you, if he doesn't he'll go back to his videogames and pretend that nothing has occured. just talk to him, give him the bitter truth. tell him what you're feeling, what you're afraid of. i know he's a bit dense... (okay, understatement) but just try. ask if he wants to try bondage, tie him up and make him listen to you. if he falls asleep, pour water over his head. JUST TALK TO HIM!

[machiakaree]

Thanks Danny, I will try that again......don't know if it will work yet or not, but I'll try....

[Gibby]

I can sort of relate to what you are going through, in a way. I know the others have already given you this advice, but it is the best that I have to offer. Talk to him. Tell him how you are feeling. Make it perfectly clear how frustrated you are and exactly how you feel. Tell him things that you want from your relationship, where you want it to go, and how you want it to be. Tell him, because if you don't tell him, he will never know. And I would leave the feelings for someone else out. It sounds as though you both have gotten so busy with the day to day activities that you have forgotten about what is important, your love for each other.

After you have that talk, it will be up to you to decide if he listened to what you said and is going to make an effort to try and get things back to where they were, or if things are not going to change, and you will have to decide if you want to stay.

I hope that helps. ~hugs~

[PandieCandii]

Though you havent seen or heard from me on these here boards, doesnt mean that Im not about. I'm one of those...rare butterflies... Hardly ever seen these days.

Though I understand where everyone is coming from, and agree with them, what they suggest isn't an easy thing to do. Then again, what worth doing ever is? For us it's easy to sprout advice when asked, because we don't have to attempt to do it ourselves.

Since you've been with your guy for three years now, obviously communication isn't impossible. But knowing what to say, how to say it, and when are probably three hardest factors everyone's got to face.

I agree that you and your old man need to talk about what you're going through, and the future of your relationship, but just sitting down at the coffee table, talking isn't a good way to show your serious. No offense, of course.

This is the PERFECT way to go about discussing things that are bothering you... IF YOUR MALE. Because guys aren't the type to want to talk about the future, or their feelings when they begin a conversation like this, females automatically can tell it's bothering them, and tend to tune right in.

For the majority of men, it's the complete opposite. Because girls are more keen to talking about what their thinking, we do so even when we don't realize it. If you're the type of girl that spends alot of time 'talking about your emotions' your guy might just take it as another one of those usual boring conversations, and tune out instead of in, resulting in short yes or no answers.

If this sounds like your guy, perhaps you need to put a little more effort into the approach. After three years, Im sure you have a good idea of what your old man 'likes.' If he's the type to like a big supper when he gets homed, followed by a hot shower, then to watch tv, try cooking his favourite meal, joining him in the shower, then setting the sofa up all ready for a nice cuddle while he vegges out infront of the television set. After his show is completed, let him know that you want to talk to him. with luck, he'll see how you gradually worked up to that, and notice that you're serious.

Studies show that a guy pays more attention to the serious 'pillow talk' (conversations based on love, relationships, emotions, the future and other sensative topics) if they're completely relaxed. The best way to get them relaxed is to give them something to enjoy. Not only will this relaxe him, but it also tends to put a spark back in the relationship that wears off over time.

If, however, he's the type that doesn't mind talking about their emotions and future, then when you're sitting at the table, or lying in bed, begin the conversation that is long over due.

Advice though... NEVER do it infront of the television set!

*chuckles*

We all know how that one would turn out....

[machiakaree]

Thank you all for your replies to my issue....I have spoken with him.....though i couldn't do the nice sweet relaxing thing cause after school i go to work and don't get home till about 2 am here. and he is all ready been home for HOURS but i did talk with him none the less, it started as an arguement over one of our computers, and ended as an emotional, sporadic, trip to the store.....but we talked about feelings and what not, he said that whether he looks like it or not that he still loves me as much if not even more and that the only way that we would ever split up is if i made him go... well, I think that through-out our 'talk' we have made a lot of progress, we talked about almost everything that has been bothering me and he even stated how he feels about it all, and I am going to quit one of my jobs so that we can spend more time together....and so that i can sleep! but anyhow, i thank you all again for the help and all...I wish that i didn't have to bother you all, cause i knew already what was going to be said....but i needed to ge strength i guess.

[Gibby]

I'm glad to hear that it worked out.

And don't worry about "Bothering us all", because that is what we are here for....strength and support.

Sometimes that is all that you need. Someone else to tell you that what you were already thinking was a good idea, or needed to be done. Heck, I always do that. I like to ask around and see what people think about something. And then after i gather all their opinions, i usually end up doing what I knew I needed to do all along. There's really truth to the whole "strength in numbers" theory.

[dannyboy]

okay... start things off with an old, french proverb.
Love is Friendship set on fire.
i think what has happened between you and he is that you have lost the friendship that fueled your love. you were freinds before you were lovers, and now that you have lost the freindship, your love has started to fade as well. i think the best thing you can do is to just spend time with him. do some of the things you did when you first fell in love. just spend some time hanging out with him. talk to him, play with him, whatever. just be freinds again.