Fox's Den

[Razorblade Butterfly]

Okay so i've never been very good at keeping a journal. Something to do with being able to commit to it, or maybe being able to share my feelings with even myself.

But hopefully I can use this to try. I think it would be good for me.

[Razorblade Butterfly]

What have you learned today?
I'm not very good at taking emotional risks.

Things to remember:
--Bills when you move--
Rent, deposit, utilities, cable, phone, internet
car payment, insurance, registration, gas
food, hygine
(tuition)
freakin.. light bulbs..
and any number of surprise expenses like car breaking down, etc.
entertainment allowances..


bleh..

[Razorblade Butterfly]

ugh.. i just made a big long journal post and it got eaten by the "too many connections page." I hate it when that happens.. its so discouraging.

Anyways, I'll try to say again what i spilled earlier as best as i can remember.

I was really scared when the forum was gone. There was a lot of work put into it and it went down just when i was starting to open up to my friends and to myself.

It turns out that someone somehow got into my account and used it to delete the message board. It shows in the security logs exactly when and from what IP this happened, and it wasn't from one of my IPs.

I don't know who would do something like that, or why. Especially to a place like this. It worries me that someone might have been upset enough to do something like that. Thats the last thing I want here.

If I hurt someone by saying something stupid then I sincerely regret it. Thats the opposite of my intentions and the design of this board. I want people to be able to come here when they need to, to be able to feel safe and wanted. I don't want the very personal information revealed here to be used against someone. It's happened to me before, and that was one moment when i was shown truly what evil some people are capable of. Hopefully nothing like that happens.

Well its about time for a phone call from a certain special someone. I'll write more later.
~Sly